Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?
I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
[Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f*ck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Fancy a fuck?
F*ck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
Bond. James Bond.
I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
Would you like to dance or should I go f*ck myself again?
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk?
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
I'm leaving this place... Want to cum?
Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Hi. I'm Big Brother. I've been watching you...
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
[Lick your finger, then touch you and your "friend's" shoulder] How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Wow! Are those real?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be cuming too.
Hi. You'll do.
(Good looking waitress pouring a drink) Say when! As soon as I finish this drink.
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out) Would you like to?
Hey baby, wanna play train conductor? OK. You sit on my face and I'll chew, chew, chew! (choo!)
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
Oh, you're a bird watcher... (Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
I have only three months to live...
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
I hear you like to sing. Her: Yeah... (Whip out your pud) Well, then step up to the mike!
Beauty is only a light switch away...
Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself...
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
You make my software turn to hardware!
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
There are 256 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?
Would you sleep with me for 20 million dollars? She (sheepishly): Yes. Well then, would you sleep with me for 20 cents? She: No, what kind of woman do you think I am? We've established what kind of woman that you are, we're just haggling over the price.
Be unique and different, say yes.
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP.
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Excuse me, do you have change for a $1000 bill?
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Carry a screw in your pocket and ask girls, "Wanna screw?"
Ya know, you look really *hot*! You must be real reason for global warming.
My name is _____, but you can call me tonight.
My friends call me Santa. Wanna sit on my lap?
My name is Richard, but my friends call me Dick. Wanna know why?
Do you have a fever? You look pretty hot from here.
When you told me to f*ck off, was that a no?
I only buy playboy for the articles.
The party's in your mouth, can I cum?
Is your name Gillette? 'Cause you're the best a man can get.
If you want to have sex with me, rub my penis once. If you don't, rub it a thousand times.
If sexy was a virus... you would have a disease!
Ok, but $50 is my last offer.
:laugh
)